10 Essential Life Lessons Everyone Should Learn Early On in Life
Navigating life – especially through difficult times – ain’t easy. In my 23 years of “experience” in the journey of life, there are some important lessons I’ve learned, and I’d like to share them with you.
So, whether you’re in your early 20s and have no idea of what you’re doing; or, you’re in your 30s and 40s and realized you’ve been going down a wrong path and now feel lost…You’re in the right place!
In this article, you’ll discover 10 crucial life lessons that have the power to completely change your perspective on life.
So, are you ready to hear the lessons life has taught me? Then, let’s get started!
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The 10 Life Lessons You Need to Hear, Heal, & Evolve
1. Everyone has their own interest at heart, so you must choose your happiness
People will hold on to the version of you they created in their minds. And, whenever you play “out of character”, you can surely expect to make someone disappointed.
To be honest, you’re not to blame for disappointing them – cause you’ve never taken on the toll of meeting their expectations in the first place.
But, as humans, we have the primordial need to categorize information. We do it with things, places, thoughts, and people.
Fearing the unknown, we create mental boxes that help us navigate the world with more clarity and confidence.
So, what’s the problem with this? Sometimes, these mental boxes become too rigid – not allowing for any change or expansion.
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Have you ever heard someone being called out as “out of their mind” only because they did something that was so untypical of them?
They didn’t behave the way they usually do, and that sudden behavioral change shocked others. Why? Because it was unexpected.
Maybe you’ve just heard this or you’ve experienced it first-hand when you decided to make a drastic life change that shocked everyone. Perhaps, you:
- Told your parents you were moving abroad
- Broke up with your partner
- Switched careers
Whether you’ve done this or have just heard of it, I’m sure you’re familiar with that fearful gaze that everyone does as they witness someone radically changing their lives.
Suddenly, people project all their fears and doubts onto you. They might say:
- “How will you make it all on your own on the other side of the world when you’re so young and broke?”
- “Why did you leave someone who loved you? You’ll never find someone like them”
- “Are you out of your mind for leaving your high-paying 9-5 to go sell your fresh, home-cultivated blueberries? How do you think you will make a living off it?”
All those fears and doubts are only a manifestation of their dreams and desires left unfulfilled…
They’ve never dared to go chase their dreams – so the first reaction is to panic when they hear you’re going for it!
Now, you have to ask yourself:
- Do I want to keep playing the role of the defenseless child by staying at home, or take on my life and do what I feel called to do?
- Why do I expect others to fully understand the reason for my breakup when I was the one in the relationship?
- Shouldn’t my colleagues support my growth and happiness, rather than prefer seeing me stuck at a job I hate?
The truth is that everyone has their interest at heart.
- It’s not that your parents don’t love you and want to see you happy…But, from their perspective, they’re seeing their beloved child leave their nest – of course, they feel sad!
- Your friends had a picture of you madly in love with your partner – so it’s natural they act shocked upon the news of your recent breakup.
- It’s not that your colleagues don’t support your career change – it’s that maybe you were a ray of sunshine in the office and feel sad at the thought of letting you go.
So, here’s one of the most important life lessons:
At the end of the day, you have to choose your happiness.
2. Part of growing up is reconnecting with your inner child
It’s not that you don’t know who you are and what you want; it’s that your authentic self got lost in the noise of the world.
You feel like everyone has it figured out – while you feel so disconnected with yourself…
But, here’s the truth: it’s not about finding yourself, it’s about reconnecting with yourself.
You feel lost because, growing up, you learned that who you wanted to be wasn’t realistic, so you’ve become someone else.
Maybe you let your parents choose what school you went to. Or, your friends influenced the sports you played and hobbies you did.
You let the world decide for you, instead of choosing for yourself.
No wonder you feel lost and have no clue what you’re doing with your life!
We all have dreams, big goals, and aspirations we’d like to see fulfilled someday – but, as we get older, we stop believing in them!
One thing is for an 8-year-old to say she wants to become a writer and everyone roots for her; but when you’re a 23 grown-up, you get a different type of comments and stares.
The dream is the same. You are the same. But you’ve let – or are letting – the world interfere…
Don’t let the outside world step in between you and your dreams.
Deep down, you know who you are.
You know what you want to do in life. And you know what your dream life looks like.
You’ve just got to be bold and brave enough to fight for it – even (and especially) when the whole world seems to be against you.
Reconnect with who you were – that’s the key to becoming who you’ve always wanted to be.
PS. Get clear about who you are and what you want in life by answering these “50 Journal Prompts for Self-Discovery”:
3. You’re responsible for your life
Your current life might be the result of what happened to you, but your future life will be the result of what you do now.
It’s so easy to play the victim and blame everything and everyone (but yourself) for your unhappiness and dissatisfaction.
The toxic marriage of your parents doesn’t mean you should fall in love with a partner who doesn’t respect you.
Your 16-year-old ex-boyfriend breaking your heart doesn’t mean you’ll never find love again.
If your dad didn’t know how to love you, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t learn how to love yourself.
We all go through traumas, difficult times, and dark periods. We all have wounds to heal…
The truth is that others don’t have power over how you feel and behave in life.
One of the hardest but most crucial life lessons you need to learn is:
It’s your life – so it’s time for you to take ownership of it!“
Not everyone will commit to doing so…and so they will keep repeating the same mistakes and face the same challenges – feeling stuck in a loop -, only because they’re not ready to learn what life has to teach them.
Don’t make the mistake of using what has happened to you as an excuse to not tap into your full potential.
You have the power to become who you want to be, but you have to first acknowledge that:
- It takes hard work to become your best self and create your dream life
- No one will do the hard work for you!
So, the sooner you realize that your life is your responsibility, the sooner you can make the changes you need to live a life you’re happy and proud of.
Silence the excuses.
Take responsibility.
This is your only shot at life – make it worth it!
4. Most people resign themselves to unhappiness
Look around, what do you see?
Are you surrounded by positive people who feel content about their lives?
Or, are you surrounded by people who can’t stop complaining about everything wrong in their lives?
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned was from hearing this life advice: “If you wouldn’t trade places with them, why take their advice?”.
Most people resign to a quiet, silent unhappiness.
It’s a general feeling of discontent: you’re not that unhappy, but you also know you’re not quite happy.
“Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.”
– Robin Sharm
Why are you condemning yourself to unhappiness?
Is it better to live unhappy but “safe”, or take the risk to be happy?
What does this fake sense of safety give you? Perhaps, your job feels safe. Your relationship feels safe. Your routine feels safe.
But, is this feeling of “safety” worth crawling to bed every night almost sobbing because of how unhappy you are with your life?
Why are you avoiding your feelings? Why are you not allowing yourself to be fully happy? What are you holding yourself back from doing?
You hate your job, but you suck it up because it pays the bills.
Maybe you’ve known for years now that you’re continuing a relationship you no longer want to be in.
Perhaps, you don’t let yourself try anything new because you’re so attached to your comfort zone that you don’t even see how that’s slowly killing you.
One of the most important life lessons I’ve learned is that:
Staying the same is way easier than doing something to change – that’s why so many people resign to unhappiness.
Don’t fall for the trap of safety. Follow your heart, always.
5. If something bothers you, it means you care about it
You don’t care about what you don’t pay attention to. And you don’t pay attention to what you don’t care about.
It’s as simple as that.
So, whenever you find yourself feeling envious of someone or something – instead of blaming yourself for those feelings, why don’t you welcome them and let them show you what they’re here for?
Every feeling is meant to teach you something.
Your jealousy, in this case, is meant to teach you what you truly desire in life – whether you’re already ready (or not) to admit it!
Pay attention to what you pay attention to. What is your focus trying to show you?
If you weren’t chasing financial freedom, you wouldn’t care about those influencers on Instagram who seem to be living their best lives on paid sponsored trips.
And, if you didn’t care about your wellness journey, you wouldn’t be bothered to find out that you haven’t worked out in months.
If you didn’t want to improve yourself, you wouldn’t be here reading this article.
Whenever you’re not behaving in alignment with your core values and you see someone who is, you’ll feel triggered.
Why? Cause you’ll be reminded of what’s important to you but haven’t been working on.
Here’s one of the most underrated yet necessary life lessons you’ll ever hear:
Your feelings are there to show you where you need to make changes in your life.
Tune in with your feelings – it’s the only way to tune in with your inner self.
6. Your brain is wired for survival, not happiness
Your mindset shapes your reality.
The best way to change your life is by changing your thoughts.
“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.”
– Elizabeth Gilbert, in Eat, Pray, Love
Don’t let your thoughts control you.
Take your power back and learn how to control your thoughts!
Everyone is on their pursuit of happiness – yet only a few realize that happiness is flakey and it’s not what they‘re after.
What they hope to conquer is a sense of peace.
Calm.
Stillness.
Inner peace.
What we’re all really going after is a state of no conflict among the mind, body, soul, others, and the Universe as a whole.
In our quest for happiness, we also often forget that happiness isn’t a primordial need.
If it’s not essential for our survival, our brain couldn’t care less about it!
To achieve such a state, we need to first ensure that our basic needs are met, following Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
So…what does this all mean? Well, in short, it means that: we’ve gotta put in a lot of work and effort to be happy!
It doesn’t come naturally – it’s something we have to proactively work towards.
Every day, you wake up and you’ve gotta pay attention to the way your mind speaks to you. What do you think, first thing in the morning? And, what is your last thought at night?
Cause, in case no one has told you this already, here’s one of the most life-changing lessons you’ll ever learn:
Happiness doesn’t happen by chance but by choice.
So, it’s your choice to wake up – day in and day out – and decide to be happy.
How? By choosing happy thoughts.
Happy thoughts lead to a happy mind.
A happy mind leads to a happy life.
7. Deep down, you always know what you want to do
Call it “sixth sense”, “gut feeling”, “instinct”, “inner wisdom” or “inner voice” – whatever.
You have it, and I have it: that quiet yet lousy voice telling us what to do, in every moment!
Yes, it’s always there! Yet we spend most of our lives trying to shush it or pretending we’re deaf. Why? Because we’re often afraid of what it might tell us.
That voice is a wiser you.
That voice is telling you what needs to change.
It is the future you talking, shining some light on the right path, and showing you the way.
It’s when you keep staying in the relationship, even when something inside is screaming that you’re not with the right one.
It’s when you have to convince yourself, every Monday morning in front of the mirror, that your job ain’t that bad.
Or, it’s when you’re ordering another round of shots at the bar when, deep down, you know you’ve grown out of this whole “bar scene”.
Yet, you try to not listen. You pretend there is nothing wrong. You keep silencing that inner voice.
The problem? You can try to play deaf but that voice you’re trying so desperately to shush will start screaming, sooner or later.
That inner voice is, actually, your future self.
Showing you the way to go.
Showing you your full potential and what you’d become – if you only would listen…
8. There isn’t an endpoint to self-improvement
You think the challenge you’re facing right now is the biggest one you’ll ever face…But that’s far from reality.
As you rise to the highest, best version of yourself, you’ll be faced with harder challenges. Not as a punishment, but as a proof of your resilience and strength.
Once you begin your self-improvement journey, you’ll think that you will stop once you get “there”. But that “there” doesn’t exist…It’s constantly moving.
It moves and grows with you.
Cause you’ll never reach the day in which you’ll be like “Yes, this is it. This is the best I can be and this is the best life I can get”.
No, that tickle that forced you to make a change in the first place will always be there, pushing you to improve even more.
Cause your journey to self-improvement is not a mountain – you don’t reach the top and that’s it, time to go down. Once you reach that top, you’ll see, ahead of you, there is another mountain to be climbed.
But you’re ready. Every inch you climb, every minor change you make, every step you take is leading you to a better you.
So, here is one of those life lessons you didn’t know you needed to hear:
Your potential is endless. And so are you.
9. Everyone feels entitled to complain, yet only a few commit to change
Sorry to break it to you but: complaining about something won’t fix it. Unless you do something about it…
Look around: how many people go on about their days complaining about e v e r y t h i n g?
It could be the weather, money, politics, their job, their partner, relatives, traffic, and on and on and on.
The complaining never stops! But, is it serving them? Is it changing anything?
- Complaining about how out of shape you are won’t make you any fit → Going to the gym and eating healthier will!
- Complaining about your partner won’t change their behavior → Talking directly to them to solve the problem will!
- Or, complaining about your job won’t make it more fun → Quitting it or shifting your mindset will!
Complaining won’t do anything.
Actually, there’s one thing that complaining does: it attracts low, negative vibrations.
It turns you into someone no one wants to be around.
So, in case you haven’t learned it yet, here is another important life lesson:
You don’t change your life by complaining.
You change your life by taking action.
So, next time you find yourself complaining about something – challenge yourself to think about an instant change, a quick fix, a solution to make things better.
10. You can change your life ONLY by doing
Finally, the final life lesson you must fully embrace is this:
If you want to change your life, at some point, you’ve gotta stop wishing. Stop planning. Stop consuming. And start doing.
Your life change will be a result of your actions. Not of your dreams. Not of your desires. Or intentions. But your actions.
You can read all the self-help books in the whole world, but if you never implement what you learn – what’s gonna change?
If you never commit to acting upon your built knowledge, you’ll stay trapped in your potential.
You’ll stay trapped into an existence of what could have been but never has, because of your inaction.
So, let this final life lesson be your fuel and motivation.
Once you finish reading these final words, go and do something.
Whether it’s a big step or small, it doesn’t matter.
Take a step toward your goals, and you’ll be one step closer to living your dream life.
Because your dream life is, ultimately, reached once you stop “just” wishing and start going for it.
So, what are you waiting for? Go for it!
Conclusion
So, that’s all for me today!
Those are the 10 life lessons I’ve learned so far in life; but, now I’m curious to know:
Q: “What life lessons have you learned, so far, in life?” – Share it with the community in the comments below!
Until next time,
