4 Tips For Setting Great Goals With Self-love In Mind
Everyone knows that setting goals is the cornerstone of personal growth. We all have something we want to work towards! But, traditional goal setting is a bit rigid though – that’s why you must start setting goals with self-love in mind.
While having specific and measurable goals is great, it can also feel stressful. Often, I think there is a lot of pressure for my goals to look and be a certain way.
Setting goals that are rooted in self-love is a kinder, more compassionate way to do it. I would even argue that focusing on self-love when setting goals will make them more achievable!
Keep reading if you need tips on setting fantastic goals while focusing on self-love.
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Understanding self-love and goal-setting
First things first, what does self-love even mean? Self-love is having a high regard for your well-being and happiness. It means taking care of yourself and your needs. Self-love is accepting yourself for who you are.
Practicing self-love is so important for many reasons. Not only will you be a happier person but practicing self-love can make you feel more confident, lead to healthier relationships, and improve your overall wellness. It seems like a no-brainer to focus more on self-love, right?!
When it comes to setting goals you want to focus on the things that make YOU happy. I think it’s really important to focus on goals that prioritize your health and wellness. Goals that are rooted in self-love can lead to healthier outcomes and you are less likely to become burnt out while working on them!
Setting goals with self-love in mind doesn’t mean sacrificing larger or more “serious” goals. It just means that you dig a little deeper and figure out what goals will benefit your health, mental health, happiness, and well-being.
Related read: Want to try a self-love challenge? Here is a 31-day self-love affirmation challenge!
Tip #1: focus on your true desires
It’s so common for people to set goals that they don’t actually care about. Why would someone do that? Societal pressure!
Whether you are being pressured by your parents, spouse, friends, or just larger society, it’s sometimes easier to just do what others want. External pressure and outside noise account for a lot of disappointment overall.
So, you need to tune out the external pressures and tune in on your true desires. Ask questions like:
- What makes you feel happy?
- Does this goal make you feel excited?
- Why do you want to achieve this goal?
If you answer those questions and your goal isn’t for you, doesn’t make you feel happy or excited, or doesn’t fit into your grand plan, you may not be setting goals rooted in self-love.
Sometimes journaling is a good way to get to know yourself. If you need more questions to determine your true desires and passions check out this list of journal prompts about figuring out what you want in life.
It’s important to set goals that reflect YOUR passions and desires.
Tip #2: set goals that are realistic and flexible
Self-love includes self-compassion!
Practicing compassion for yourself when things are tough or not going your way is a form of self-love. We all tend to be a little too tough on ourselves.
Set goals that are realistically attainable!
Setting yourself up for failure right off the start is not very self-loving.
However, it is so common to do. When you think of your biggest hopes and dreams it’s easy to list things that will be really hard to achieve (stuff like losing a lot of weight, purchasing large items, career changes, etc).
Be real with yourself and understand that while every goal is absolutely valid and should be on your list, some things require a few extra steps.
Also, be okay with change and flexibility! Life is always evolving. Plans change and that’s okay. Self-love means accepting yourself and your journey.
To make your goals more realistic, try breaking down your larger goals into smaller goals.
For example, if your goal is to create an Etsy business you might break that super big goal into small pieces like: creating an Etsy account, figuring out a business name, making the first product, and so on.
Tip #3: celebrate your progress
Treat yourself like you would your best friend! If your best friend achieved something I’m sure you’d want to celebrate.
Shift your focus from the end result to the journey. Yes, you will have a big celebration at the end but don’t wait to acknowledge your hard work.
Self-love thrives when you acknowledge your effort even if there are setbacks and speed bumps along the way.
Keep a progress journal or track your progress with a habit tracker, visual tracker, or spreadsheet. Here are a few other ways to track your goals and your progress.
Find small ways to reward yourself for the progress you are making. A sweet treat, an evening out with your spouse, etc.
Whatever you want, the world is your oyster! Here is a list of 50 ways to celebrate yourself if you need more ideas!
Tip #4: incorporate self-care into your goals
Self-care and rest are what allow your mind and body to keep going. Life is busy as it is so when you are trying to better yourself it can be extra hard!
Making sure you are setting goals that allow time for self-care (or even setting self-care goals) is crucial.
Remember that rest is productive! Never feel bad for taking breaks because you need them to keep making progress.
Incorporating self-care into your goals might look like meditation, physical activity, or setting healthy boundaries.
Those types of practices support your goals whether you think they do or not.
Exercise might not seem useful for a goal such as learning a language BUT staying healthy and moving your body actually does help your brain (which you need working in order to learn).
Think of different self-care practices that you enjoy doing and make sure to incorporate them into your goals. Making sure you are cared for is literally the whole idea of self-love!
Conclusion
It’s totally possible to set great goals that are rooted in self-love. Not all goals need to be so serious! And let’s be real, it’s important to set goals that actually matter to you and allow you to succeed.
Remember when you are setting your New Year’s goals to focus on your desires, create attainable and flexible goals, celebrate your progress along the way, and incorporate self-care! Four easy but very important parts of setting self-loving goals.
Take a deep breath and do the thing!
Q: “What tip is most helpful for setting goals with self-love in mind?“
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Meet the Author: Deanna
Deanna is a personal growth and lifestyle blogger based in BC, Canada. As the creator of Life By Deanna, she inspires women to embrace intentional living and self-compassion, showing that personal growth doesn’t have to be rushed — it can be cozy, slow, and meaningful. A lover of all things warm and comforting, Deanna spends her days writing, reading, and enjoying life’s little joys, like snuggling with her cat or eating mac and cheese. You can find her over on Instagram and Pinterest!
